“Okay. We’re going to need you to put on this white, official-looking labcoat. Then, look into the camera and act as though you’re holding a Shell gas card. And since we perplexingly don’t have an actual card for you to hold, simply spread your finger and thumb really far apart, and we’ll just Photoshop it in later. No one will be able to tell, because it will look so realistic and seamless. No, further than that. Further. There you go! Keep them just like that!”

“Also, we’re going to need to make up a fake-sounding name for you, which will in turn be Photoshopped onto the fake card. And even though it will probably be too small to be picked up by say… a camera-phone, people will notice it at the pump, and we need that kind of personal touch for our advertisement. Something that says ‘This is my name… and it’s here on this card’. How about…  ’Chris Morgan’? I like that. And lastly, Chris… may I call you Chris? Lastly, we’re going to make one of your eyebrows twice as bushy as the other.”

“Cheese!” 

Daddy, Liam, and Nate take a late afternoon trip to the park. This was the sixth of six in as many days, and the only one for which I took the camera. If you’re interested in further details of the chase scenes, table talk, or the goosedown-beshitting of wandering hands, click a pic.

Our backyard wedding, four years ago today. Happy anniversary, Buhbee!

“Nate, do you remember playing with Play-Doh when we were little?” Liam asked, “And I’d keep all my colors neat and separated, and you’d just mash yours into one giant mauve ball?”

From his bodycast, Nate blinks once for yes.

If you squint when you look at this picture of Nate in his highchair, I swear you can see the face of a horse, eyes rolling, thunderstruck and charging madly, enraged that there’s a sparking monkey tangled in his mane and vomiting electricity.

No? Then surely you can see the face of a cow, eyes half-lidded, nonchalant and chewing mildly, slightly annoyed that there’s an albino bullfrog sitting between her horns and smoking a glowstick?

Either way, the effect is enhanced if you shake your head violently back and forth while letting your lips go all wug-wug-wug-wug, so fast that everything’s blurry, all the while experiencing a series of disjointed psychedelic mindtrips, only to discover later that not only do you not work at the post office, but that you never even left Vietnam.

An estranged girlfriend was wrecking this family’s annual beach pic. Bye-bye, Blondie.

click on any image for larger version

…questionable odors, and immature situations. Parental guidance is suggested.

Even backwards or forwards, Jill is my lovely navigator. Lovely? My, is Jill! Forwards, or backwards, even!

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Maybe they want me to start paying in singles. When have you been most surprised by unexpected nipples?