Liam, Kindergarten 2010-11

Nate, Preschool 2010-11

I think you move me.

“Dada?”

“Yes, Nate.”

“Would Papa Heaton know what poopbend is?”

“What what is?”

“Poopbend.”

“What is poopbend, Nate?”

“I don’t know. But would Papa Heaton know? You said that he knowed all about EVERYTHING.”

“Yeah, he probably would have known, actually.”

“Even would he know how to cook everything all at ONCE? At the SAME time? Like red cake? And blue cake?”

“Definitely.”

ISO Bedtime.

My Dad e-mailed me this video of people *owning* some crazy effing shots, tricks, stunts, and illusions. With almost 6 million views on youtube, I realize I’m a little late to the game.

I dig this in the most vicarious way possible. I hate heights and I hate to bleed. When it began, I thought it was going to be a series of massive fails, me watching through squinted eyes and a screwed up face to cushion the carnage on the screen, but that’s not the case. Also, I’m adding this track to my workout mix. Bonus.

“Mum-Mum! There are no seat buckles on my bus!”

Why is that, exactly? People FREAK OUT about kids’ safety in automobiles…if a baby’s car seat isn’t perfectly level, if you migrate from a five-point-harness to a belt-positioning-booster a month or a pound before the recommended time, or a hundred other nuanced issues regarding how you strap your kid down in the car. But, start kindergarten and board a giant, yellow, tin can driven by a stranger, add 30 of your closest friends, and all of a sudden it’s Thunderdome on your 7:30 a.m. jaunt to school.

Here is Liam’s run-skip exit off of the bus and into his Primary School on the first day. Ours was not one of the weepy on the first day of kindergarten. He was revved up and vibrating with excitement and energy, and, amazingly, it has remained so for two plus months!

Nate and Sam weren’t quite sure what to do with their hours and hours of free time each day. They were like the oppressed citizens of a country whose ruthless, yet familiar and therefore reassuring, dictator had been overthrown. Without Czar Liam making them dance, they wandered the house and yard aimlessly for two or three days, experienced civil unrest and in-fighting, but finally found their feet by the end of the week. Sam was especially discombobulated when Nate started his two-and-a-half hour, five-day, pre-K classes in the following weeks. He was without an older brother for the first time in his life. And, hey! Did you know that Sam is really REALLY demanding of my time when he is without an older brother for the first time in his life?

“Mum-Mum…watch I do! Watch I do! MUM-MUM! Watch dis! MUUUUUMM-MUUUUUUMMMMM! You turn your face back dis way!”

He. is. relentless.

Next year he’ll begin preschool and for the first time in nearly seven years I will have two and a half hours a day where I can do whatever I want, without interruption! But won’t you be sad that your baby is in preschool? NO! HELL, NO! I don’t like to sound cold-hearted or unsentimental, but I honestly don’t get all of the “my baby’s growing up!” moaning that people do. Yes. Exactly. That’s what’s supposed to happen if you’re lucky. I’m glad! I’m happy! Grow, explore, think, evolve, move up, move on, be fearless, find your fire! I can’t wait to see what they do, who they love, what makes them laugh. I’ll be a tenacious wing-mom for as long as they want, but my proudest moment will be when they shrug away from me.

“Hey, Mum! Turn your face this way and watch what I do!!”

I’m a soccer Mom. I keep expecting a minivan to come screaming down our block, its stereo’s bass thumping out a Celine Dion ballad, carrying a troupe of sensibly-shod Moms who kidnap and haze me during a crazy night fueled by high-waisted, tapered jeans, bad rom-coms, and a bottomless glass of white zinfandel! WOOT!