Approximately zero percent of each sale goes toward advertising
“Okay. We’re going to need you to put on this white, official-looking labcoat. Then, look into the camera and act as though you’re holding a Shell gas card. And since we perplexingly don’t have an actual card for you to hold, simply spread your finger and thumb really far apart, and we’ll just Photoshop it in later. No one will be able to tell, because it will look so realistic and seamless. No, further than that. Further. There you go! Keep them just like that!”
“Also, we’re going to need to make up a fake-sounding name for you, which will in turn be Photoshopped onto the fake card. And even though it will probably be too small to be picked up by say… a camera-phone, people will notice it at the pump, and we need that kind of personal touch for our advertisement. Something that says ‘This is my name… and it’s here on this card’. How about… ’Chris Morgan’? I like that. And lastly, Chris… may I call you Chris? Lastly, we’re going to make one of your eyebrows twice as bushy as the other.”
“Cheese!”
He looks exactly like a Chris Morgan.
ashleys last blog post..I was scared to go.
It’s my MAGICAL Shell Credit Card - SEE? It floats in my hand! I’m a magician! Can’t you tell by my spiffy white jacket? No? Well watch how I magically steal $100 from your wallet!
You know…I was thinking that maybe it’s not *his* card, but that he is the creator of the card and is presenting it to you, the ass-raped patron of Shell. Chris Morgan, after all, could be a man or a woman and is generic enough to apply to a lot of people.
Anyway, I probably spent WAY too much time contemplating this today.
I actually know a Chris Morgan and he looks nothing like that guy. Gross misrepresentation on Shell’s part, for shame.
petes last blog post..Beer Drinkers’ Lament
Jill - So, like he could be ‘presenting’… That fake card could be the Shell gas equivalent of an extra-colorful baboon ass in nature. He could be doing it to attract a mate. To the pump.
“Hey big boy, watchoo doon lookin’ over at that Exxon?” *flaring gas card*
You probably thought about it during all the time you had rewinding 400 feet of Liam’s kite string back onto the spool. But that’s another story.
Pete - Sorry I dissed on the resolution of camera phones in my post… it was due to my own shortcomings and for dramatic purposes only. Had you been wielding the camera phone, I’m sure ‘Chris Morgan’ would have not only been visible, but both balanced and well-composed to boot.
Bill - Dissing camera phones is expected, no harm done. They usually do take terrible photos. I just try to make people aware that they have a camera on-hand all the timne, so why not use it? Please, continue to be dramatic, it’s more fun that way.
BTW, if I took it, I’d need four or five tries. I have always had a tremor in my hands. And even with a good shot, always remember - Photoshop is your friend.
petes last blog post..Beer Drinkers’ Lament
The card in the opposite hand offsets the way-bushy eyebrow. Cracks me up.
Shell totally owes you a bonus.
Mays last blog post..So Long, Solo
Heh, heh, heh. Thankfully, I know very little of my money went into that ad. I refuse to buy Shell (or Esso) gasoline, unless my car is dying of starvation miles from any other service station.
Screw Chris Morgan. The price of your fill up is what I am more concerned about! When I think about gas prices, I think about choking the life out of the people behind them, one by one, then I smile at the thought of their last gasp for air!! No, really!
Well if you think you’re being arse-raped in the US, there’s not a bodily aperture that’s not here in New Zealand.
I did my math. Gas is $NZ 2.18 a litre here…converted to gallons and at today’s NZD/USD conversion that 22.67 gallons of gas would have cost us $142.59…now doesn’t that make you feel just a little better?
Oh and by the way Chris Morgan is a generic cardboard cut-out usually used for advertising pharmaceutical products, hence the lab. coat…SHELL you cheap cheeky buggers.
Great site you have here
Eliza!
Holy shit! I always knew that other places in world were takin’ it in the pooper too as far as gas prices went, but DAMN!
I wonder if those drivers commute the way US drivers do. We’re so *suburban* and spread out that many people commute over 100 miles a day just to work and back, especially here in the Baltimore/DC area where it’s nearly impossible to afford a home close to where you work.
Do other places in the world have that double whammy? Because you can take that $92 and multiply it by 2.5 and that’s what we put into our guzzler each week just for Bill to get to work and back. Owwww-ch. Gonna have to get a Prius!
Thanks for the compliment on the site. :o) I love NZ so much! I traveled there with my cousin four years ago and it was hands down the most beautiful place I’ve ever been.
Did you also notice that half of his mustach is more filled in on the side with the extra bushy brow? That half of his face kind of reminds me of a villian from a mellow-drama…
I know that I am late to the party on this one but, thanks for the extra hard laugh this morning!
Notice the Shell statement written across his chest. Perhaps the “bushy side” of his face was not using Shell brand petro, hence, the “gunk” (hair) build up. : )