(Click the thumbnail below to be redirected to the entire December 2007 picture set):

Decked out in their shirts from the Christmas card, the boys decorated their cookies for Santa as Sam - he of furrowed brow and kung-fu hands - rocked gently in his swing behind them. Closer inspection of the picture below may reveal that there is in fact cookie dough and a tray beneath the piles of candy sprinkles in front of Nate. 

Before we put it into the oven, we tipped his tray and almost filled a cereal bowl with sprinkle overflow. We hid this activity from Liam, as it could have easily resulted in all focus shifting from Santa’s cookies to that bowl of homeless sprinkles and their need to be lorded and obsessed over.

The boys left their cookies for Santa, and for reasons known only to him, Liam immediately demanded a second, empty plate for his own use. For reasons known to anyone but Liam, I denied this request based on my desire to get Santa (who was by then drumming his fingers impatiently on the DirecTV dish) going on toy assembly, and out of a sense of fatherly Nate-preservation (in the event that he strayed too closely to Liam’s proposed plate). 

This did not go over well, and Liam staged his protest off camera, near the tree. Nate dropped to the floor, scooted his legs under the cookie stool, and pointed happily at COOKEESTH! 

Sam, who may have not even realized that he was no longer in the kitchen, delivered one of his very first smiles. To a fake, half-decorated tree.

On Christmas morning, the boys discovered their stockings. Amidst all the chocolate and candy, Liam found a toothbrush-holder with a suction cup on the back. Our gift to him? Irony.

Nate wrangled their new Radio Flyer, and I took a moment to appreciate it all.

One day, Jill and I will be gone, and all that will remain of this unfolding morning will be an antique scooter and the distant memories of early childhood… dimly and warmly recalled by three old men: One hunkered over an empty plate, one pointing happily at cookies, and one smiling toothlessly at a tree. 

happy holidays from the Heatons

www.billandjill.com

[version 2006]

happy holidays! from the Heatons. Bill, Jill, Liam, and Nate

keep tabs on us at www.billandjill.com

[version 2005]

Heaton’s Greetings!

from Bill, Jill, Liam, and ‘Baby Boy’ (due 03/2006)

[version 2004]

Happy Holidays! From the Heatons

Bill, Jill, Liam, Charlie, Gordon, Blooper and Moe!

Today is Jill’s first day going it alone with all three boys. I respect her talent and patience. Just absorbing the full brunt of Son1 and Son2 is enough to crumble statues… so I can’t imagine dealing with them while simultaneously dealing with Son3, who requires one’s full attention plus fourteen. It’s like an advanced geometry problem with no answer.

A circular area with a diameter of no sleep is bordered by uniform screaming. It contains six missing couch cushions, eleven insurmountable tantrums, four plastic bowls of varying and shifting degrees of importance, and one incontinent Basset Hound. If the area around the shunned pacifier is sixty square bath times, find its width in diapers. (Values = Liam, Nate, Sam; 3 boys > 1 adult).

Perform all math in your head as you allow a piggybacking musketeer with a mouthful of turned corn to repeatedly punch you in the neck and fire a flintlock muzzleloader into a bathtub filled with brass cymbals. Clean up. Fix food. Clean up. Pass out. Wake up four times before you wake up.

Okay, so I guess it’s more like an advanced geometry problem with corn, gunplay, and the odd musketeer. I didn’t see that coming. Either way, Jill’s ears are ringing, food is involved, and she’s getting hit in the neck a lot.

Liam and Nate are adjusting well. Although, I’m not sure they fully grasp the continuing effect that Baby Sam is going to have on their dynamic. Liam likes to help rock Sam, and Nate looks over from his Play-Doh occasionally. They miss Muh-mum’s undivided attention, and Da-da can only take them to the diner but so many times.

So far, they’re much more interested in getting into Sam’s crib, taking his blankets, and batting at his mobile.

They were also surprised to find a strange new object in their toyroom - Sam’s Ocean Wonders Bouncy seat. Think of the scene in “2001: a Space Odyssey” when the monkeys started hopping around, smashing bones into the ground and shrieking at the monolith. A slap-fight quickly ensued as each tried to get into the chair at the same time. During Liam’s turn, the thing sagged to the floor and groaned like the Hulk’s purple pants. In fact, he looked like the Hulk, if the Hulk drove a Volkswagen.

And no human being on Earth has been kissed by Liam more times that little Sam. Nate even dropped his Play-Doh and threw in a few. Poor Sam looked like a blinky baby chick getting pecked to death in the middle of the henhouse.

Jill’s doing great. The rays of our planet’s yellow sun give her power.